European Parliament Opens March Session: Drama, Declarations, and One MEP Musical Chairs
Strasbourg – The European Parliament kicked off its March 9-12 plenary session with President Roberta Metsola delivering what can only be described as the geopolitical equivalent of a “we need to talk” speech.
Iran Gets the Memo (Again)
Metsola didn’t mince words about Iran’s 47-year streak of “brutal repression” – because apparently, some records are nothing to celebrate. She condemned Iran’s recent “indiscriminate and desperate attacks” on Gulf States, promising the EU would keep championing Iranian citizens’ right to “live in liberty and choose their own destiny.” You know, the basics.
Cyprus also got a solidarity shout-out, with Metsola reassuring them that “European solidarity is real, tangible and by your side” – which is diplomatic speak for “we’ve got your back.”
Political Violence: Parliament Says “Cut It Out”
In a moment of refreshing clarity, the President addressed the elephant in the room: rising political violence fueled by everyone’s favorite rage machine, social media. Her message? Settle your differences with words, not fists. Revolutionary concept, really.
Belgium’s Terrible Tuesday
The session opened on a somber note following an antisemitic attack on a synagogue in Liège, Belgium. Metsola’s response was unequivocal: “Jewish life belongs in Europe. And Europe will always defend it.” No room for interpretation there.
The Administrative Shuffle
In less dramatic news, the Parliament engaged in its favorite bureaucratic ballet: Tom BERENDSEN (Netherlands) exited stage left on March 3, while Willemien KONING entered stage right the same day. Democracy: it’s like a relay race, but with more paperwork.
Slovenia also requested to waive the immunity of MEP Matej TONIN, because apparently someone’s been naughty.
Coming Attractions
Tuesday’s agenda includes a thrilling fast-track vote on emission credits for heavy-duty vehicles. Try to contain your excitement.
The session runs through March 12, giving MEPs plenty of time to debate, declare, and occasionally disagree – civilly, of course.