EU Parliament Gets Down to Business: Big Tech, Bullies, and Biodiversity
The European Parliament is having quite the Thursday, folks. And no, they’re not just arguing about who ate whose lunch from the communal fridge.
First up on the agenda: making sure Russia pays—literally. MEPs are voting on holding Russia accountable for its attacks on Ukrainian civilians, including joining an International Claims Commission. Because apparently, “sorry” doesn’t quite cut it when you’ve launched a brutal war of aggression.
In a move that’ll make Big Tech executives nervously adjust their turtlenecks, Parliament is doubling down on the Digital Markets Act. Despite some mysterious “external political pressure” (wonder where that’s coming from), MEPs are voting to ensure companies can’t weasel their way around the rules. Periodic penalties are on the table, and they’re not taking any excuses—no matter which side of the Atlantic you call home.
Speaking of the internet being a terrible place, cyberbullying is getting the legislative smackdown it deserves. MEPs want it criminalized under EU law and are tired of social media platforms playing the “not our problem” card when it comes to online harassment. About time someone held the digital playground monitors accountable.
But wait, there’s more! The day also includes discussions on livestock sustainability (because cows have feelings too), women entrepreneurs in rural areas (girl power meets farm power), and the delightfully named “Cali Fund” for biodiversity protection. Nothing says “Thursday” quite like debating genetic resources and ethnic suppression in China in the same afternoon.
Oh, and they’re tackling “finfluencers”—those TikTok financial gurus who may or may not be leading you toward financial ruin with their aggressive marketing. Minimum standards are coming, and your crypto-bro cousin is not going to be happy.
All of this kicks off at 9 AM and runs until 3 PM, because democracy waits for no one—not even lunch.