EU Parliament Wants More Money (Surprise!), But This Time They Have a Plan
The European Parliament just voted to supersize the EU’s next seven-year budget, because apparently, the Commission’s proposal was about as satisfying as a diet salad at a wedding buffet.
On Tuesday, MEPs decided the 2028-2034 budget should hit 1.27% of EU GNI—that’s roughly €1.78 trillion in today’s money, or about €175 billion more than what Brussels initially suggested. Think of it as the EU asking for a 10% raise, except instead of promising to work harder, they’re promising to work on everything.
What’s Getting the Cash?
The wish list reads like a European fever dream: defense, competitiveness, innovation, green transitions, digital stuff, infrastructure, health, education, culture, and—because someone remembered they exist—the outermost regions. Oh, and they’re doubling down on programs like Erasmus+ (so your kids can still get drunk in Prague on the EU’s dime) and Horizon Europe (actual science, not just party science).
But don’t worry, farmers and regional development fans—MEPs insist the Common Agricultural Policy and cohesion funds won’t be sacrificed at the altar of shiny new priorities. It’s like promising to buy a sports car while assuring your spouse you won’t sell the minivan.
The Fine Print (AKA The Boring But Important Bit)
Here’s where it gets spicy: Parliament wants to keep the €150 billion debt from the NextGenerationEU recovery fund outside the budget. That’s like saying “this credit card doesn’t count” when calculating your monthly expenses. Creative accounting? Maybe. But they’re calling it “fiscal responsibility.”
MEPs are also demanding new revenue sources—about €60 billion annually—through what they’re calling a “basket approach.” Translation: taxes on digital services, online gambling, crypto gains, and possibly your neighbor’s carbon footprint. If member states balk at some options, Parliament’s ready with backup plans like a parent threatening increasingly absurd punishments.
The Drama
The report passed 370-201, which in EU terms is basically a landslide. Now the ball’s in the member states’ court, where it will likely bounce around for months while everyone argues about who pays what.
MEPs are also throwing shade at the Commission’s “one plan per member state” idea, warning it could turn EU policy into an à la carte menu where everyone orders something different and nobody’s happy with what they get.
What Happens Next?
Parliament’s drawn its line in the sand. Now they wait for the European Council to either match their ambition or engage in the time-honored EU tradition of negotiating everything down to a compromise that leaves everyone equally disappointed.
Either way, grab your popcorn—budget negotiations are about to get interesting.